The Voice – Top-8 Results Recap

I’m wearing my somber face tonight, because iTunes results indicate that Judith Hill might very well go home. I’m not saying this would be one of the great failings in recent American history, I’m just saying I’d be very disappointed. Oh and Sasha Allen is almost certainly going home, but eh, 8th place seems about right for her.

Let’s hope I’m wrong about Judith, and let’s get to it!

-Jimmy Neutron welcomes us to the show with a recap of all last night’s acts. With the decreasing number of contestants, these recaps are getting longer and longer. Hey, it’s not like last night’s episode just finished re-airing or anything.

-Sheryl Crow kicks things off, with Team Blake backing her up. If you were indifferent about country music going in to this season, then you either love it or hate it by now. There’s no way you can listen to this much of it without forming an opinion.

-A commercial features THE ONE AND ONLY NICHOLAS DAVID!! SOUL BROTHER! I MISS YOU SO MUCH, I HAVE SO MUCH TO TELL YOU. But let’s save it for after the show – we’ve still got roughly 27 country performances left tonight.

-Carson interviews the panel. Adam vows to “not make the most interesting decisions”. Shakira is stumbling like a coach who knows her last contestant is going home tonight. Very Xtina. Master marketer Usher is at no risk of losing Michelle and is doing a nice job of helping her build some momentum. Carson promotes Blake’s upcoming concert. Carson is really running the show tonight – I take great delight in poking fun at him, but I can’t imagine anyone else hosting this show.

-Judth and Michelle perform together. Interesting pairing, but they’re singing a pretty generic dance song that I should probably recognize but don’t. Twitter says it’s Florence Welch. Anyway, Michelle is strong, but Judith is divine. Hope this isn’t her final performance of the season.

Here we go! Our first artist moving on to the top-6 is…

Michelle Chamuel! Of course. She’s Danielle Bradbery’s toughest competition this season.

-Sasha Allen and the Swons join up for a duet. An even MORE interesting pairing! I really like Sasha on a song like this, even if she’s still going a little too Broadway with it.

Next announcement! Moving on to the top-6 is…

Danielle Bradbery! Hey, good on ‘The Voice’ for dispensing of the formalities right off the bat.

-Something is happening right now involving “Living in America” and I do not know what it is and now I’m scared. Oh it’s an ‘America’s Got Talent’ commercial. I’ll just pretend I hallucinated that.

-One night after a hilariously awkward interview with Danielle’s grandpa, Christina Milian makes it 2-for-2 with Michelle’s mom.

-Danielle and Sarah take the stage and just crush a sweet ballad. THAT’S how it’s done.

-Confessional! Guilty pleasures, feet, snacks, superheroes. Biggest upset: everyone compares Blake and Adam to superheroes, but nobody brings up the Ambiguously Gay Duo.

Announcement time! America has saved…

Sasha Allen!! WHOOOOOOA! Complete shocker. The only person more surprised than I am is Shakira, who flails her way to the stage to embrace her last remaining contestant. Somewhere in a dark room, a bitter Xtina takes another sip of hard liquor.

-Amber and Holly take the stage. I can’t pay attention, I’m still floored that Sasha is safe. That means two from the group of Amber, Swons, Holly, Judith, and Sarah are going home. Amber HAS TO BE safe (I think?). I have no idea what to think. I’m reeling.

Next contestant moving on is…

The Swon Brothers! Yep. No surprise. America loves white guys with guitars who sing mediocre harmonies. It’s looking VERY dire for Judith right now.

HERE WE GO! ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN! CODE RED, CODE RED! OLYMPUS IS AT RISK!

Our final two contestants MOVING ON to the Top-6 are…

AMBER CARRINGTON! No surprise, she was never at risk.

and…and….AND…

HOLLY TUCKER!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! DYYYIIIING.

That means we’ve lost…

Judith Hill
Ranked #2 out of 48 following auditions.
Ranked #2 out of 16 entering the live shows.

Judith’s too good for this show, y’all. Looking back, her fate was sealed the very first time we saw her on screen, when the show focused so heavily on her Michael Jackson connection. I am 100% certain that was a production decision, not a decision coming from Judith, and it’s hamstrung her ability to generate voting support. People are voting for narrative as much as talent (ESPECIALLY this season), and nobody is all that excited about crowning someone who has already toured with the King of Pop. Still, it’s jarring to see Judith exit before the finals. She’s the most polished, controlled, savvy performer the show has ever had, and arguably the most talented. Losing her before the finals has nothing to do with Judith or her coach Adam and everything to do with a voting public that’s demanding a country winner this season (a theory that I’ve had for a few weeks now that I’ll write up in the coming days).

Sarah Simmons
Ranked #1 out of 48 following auditions.
Ranked #1 out of 16 entering the live shows.

Sarah’s exit tonight blindsided me, though I’d be far more outraged if I didn’t think she was really, really bad last night on the Gotye song. In baseball, old announcers always say things about pitchers like “if you get beaten, make sure it’s with your best pitch.” In other words, if you’re going to lose, make sure you lose doing what you do best. Sarah didn’t do that. She’s uniquely gifted at growling through rock songs, and has an almost punk rock swagger when she really gets going. Her voice is good enough to handle softer material (like tonight’s excellent duet with Danielle). But you know what she’s NOT suited for? QUIRKY INDIE ROCK. Save that stuff for Melanie Martinez, Adam. Good Lord. Unlike Judith, I attribute Sarah’s ouster 100% to song selection – there’s just no world that exists where Holly should advance over Sarah, but honestly Holly was better than Sarah last night for the first time all season, so I guess I get it.

So, to recap: we lost the season’s two most distinctive (and I would say, best) singers, and four of the six remaining contestants are country acts. Time to buy a cowboy hat and roll with the punches.

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2 comments

  1. I. Am. Done. I kept hoping you were wrong about Judith. Quite honestly I’d have been able to comprehend Judith going if Sasha Boat left, too. That damn girl sings like she’s fresh off a cruise line during the opera section. I’m so tired of that gargling thing she does. I’ve never made a secret of Shakira bugging the hell out of me, but I wouldn’t blame Sasha going home on Shakira. It’s Judith’s singing voice. Period. Shakira picked two good songs for Sasha this week and last week and she still sounded absolutely crazy. Only glory I can take in this one is knowing iTunes don’t always prove to be the best predictors.

    But here’s my issue with folks who hate Judith. Having her not mention that she sang for Michael Jackson makes as much sense as applying for a technology job but leaving your Steve Jobs internship off your resume. WHY WOULD YOU NOT POINT OUT YOU WORKED WITH THE BEST?! If she got a career fresh off MJ’s death, every music interviewer would ask her about MJ. She turned one down and chose to embark on her own and then people still asked about MJ. What was she supposed to do? Go into hiding, cut her hair off and do an “Eat. Pray. Love”? Grrrr….

    I thought Sarah was FINALLY everything you loved about her last night. I enjoyed her song. I do think she went out with a bang. But man, so many people didn’t like that song she chose that it’s clearly “Clocks” round 2. Don’t care. I still love it!

    P.S. Folks on Twitter are now mad Adam said he doesn’t like this country. Oh lord, please don’t turn this into a patriotic debate. If people start calling Adam “unAmerican” I’m going to Canada…with the Biebs and Drake.

    • Typo: I meant “It’s Sasha’s singing voice” not “It’s Judith’s singing voice.” My gawd, this must be how Chicago Bulls vs Miami Heat fans feel after a game. I’ve forgotten names.

      P.S. I laughed so hard when I read the line about Christina sipping hard liquor. I’ve never watched any other season but this one but you make her seem like THE WORST!

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