The Voice – Top 12 Results Recap

If the objective evidence is any indication, it was a slow start to the final round of ‘The Voice’ this week. Underdogs The Swon Brothers led iTunes sales, but finished just a modest 19th on the charts. We’ll see if sales pick up as the season progresses, but it’s pretty clear (and it’s been clear for some time) that there’s no Cassadee Pope in this year’s crop of talent.

Speaking of which, tonight we’re getting rid of some of the chaff, in the form of our first two eliminated contestants of the round. After last night, I predicted Vedo and Garrett would be headed home. After seeing the iTunes results, I’m switching that to Vedo and Kris, though Garrett remains in play. Everyone else appears to be safe.

Let’s get to it!

-Something tells me Carson will be talking about the one night they didn’t have air conditioning until the end of the season. Looking forward to it.

-Here’s Robin Thicke, T.I., and Pharrell Williams. I assume they just met backstage. I don’t know what’s going on here. I feel old. I do appreciate TI’s vest game.

-Time for the segment where the judges talk off the cuff awkwardly for 15 minutes.

-The Voice Confessionals are back! We learn that Vedo sold body oils, Judith once sang about farts, and the skinny, less-talented Swon is OCD.

Here we go! The first two artists who are SAFE are…

Kris Thomas! Wow! A shocker right off the bat. This is BAD NEWS for Garrett. As the driver of the Kris Thomas bandwagon, I am of course thrilled.

The Swon Brothers! They led this week on iTunes, so this was an easy call. I still think they’re at risk the first time they don’t sing a slow, pretty acoustic song.

-Blake takes the stage to perform with his team. He smartly gives the first verse to the talented Swon Brother, relegating the other to fake strumming his acoustic guitar in a corner somewhere.

More announcements! Advancing to the top-10 are…

Sarah Simmons! She’s been my #1 from the get-go, but has heavy competition from all sides.

Josiah Hawley! He pulled the Swon Brothers Memorial “soft and acoustic” move, and it worked for him as well. I’m comfortable enough to say that he is one handsome man.

-Now performing: Lady Antebellum, flanked by Team Adam. Whole lotta country on this season of The Voice. Let’s make it official and get Carson in a cowboy hat!

Next announcement! Moving on will be…

Judith Hill! Because duh.

Danielle Bradbery! Also because duh.

-Adam and his team take the stage to perform “Love Song”. This whole thing has a Charlie’s Angels vibe going on. I can’t put my finger on why I find it all a little creepy, but I do.

Down to 6 contestants left until we get to the inevitable Vedo/Garrett elimination! Moving on are…

Michelle Chamuel! On likability alone Michelle is gonna last a few more weeks, but she needs to be better than this week to make any impact on the season.

Amber Carrington! The Team Adam Angels are all safe…and very likely will all be for a VERY long time. I could see all 3 in the finals.

As usual, the show has gone long, so we’re rushing through the elimination. Here we go!

ADVANCING to the top-10 are…

Holly Tucker! She was never at any real risk, though her itunes totals were not great.

Sasha Allen! Also never at risk, but needs to be better next week.

That means the following singers are going home…

Ranked #34 out of 48 following auditions.
Ranked #15 out of 16 entering live shows.

Our two new judges each made critical errors in judgment with one of their contestants, and wouldn’t you know it, the audience corrected those mistakes right off the bat. Despite his touching story, Vedo has never been one of the best R&B singers this season, much less one of the best overall singers. Usher fell in love with him early on and has carried him through, despite a string of mediocre performances.

Garrett Gardener
Ranked #41 out of 48 following auditions.
Ranked #14 out of 16 entering live shows.

Oh, Garrett. He seems like a nice kid, but to be quite honest he arguably shouldn’t have even got a chair turn this season. Shakira fell in love instantly though, and dragged him through round after round as far as she could. He’s never been one of the best voices on the show and never had a memorable moment (unless you count his Renaissance Fair admission tonight).

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  1. I just don’t see the magic in Sarah Simmons that you do. If she left tomorrow it wouldn’t make me a bit of difference. I wasn’t into Amber much either but she keeps popping in and doing some random note on her songs that make me think I should pay more attention to her. I actually liked Vedo a lot more at the beginning of the show but I feel like the show KEPT telling his family tragedy and it started to come off like people were voting out of sympathy based on talent. I kinda wish I did not know about the unfortunate circumstances he dealt with so I could just like him from an unbiased perspective. I know one thing. He did a magnificent duet with Jessica and I stand on that. But then his performances went downhill after that and I was confused. I’m neutral on Garrett. I see why Shakira liked him but considering I’m the least likely Shakira fan in the world, I think she screwed him over. She keeps ignoring how people want to be seen and trying to form them into other people. She did it with Karina and her rocker/soul style. Now she tried to make Garrett a boy band person when he’s really rock. What the other three judges do is coach the artists’ natural style instead of trying to throw them into other categories. She wanted the country singer to yodel even though yodeling is frowned upon in country solely on the basis of Shakira herself “sounding like a goat.” I’m just so over her. I have no idea what type of judge Christina Aguilera is but I’m not thrilled about talks of her coming back either from the previews I saw on YouTube. I cannot figure out why every female judge is annoying (Paula Abdul on “Idol,” Lil Mama on “America’s Best Dance Crew” Nicki Minaj and Mariah Carey on “Idol,” Mary Murphy on “SYTYCD”). They all make my skin crawl.

    • Typo: “based on sympathy instead of based on talent.”

      • By the way, “Blurred Lines” would be a much better song without T.I. I don’t know what it is with that dude but he MUST ruin every single lady song by calling women “bitches” and rapping about being a player. Pharrell and Robin Thicke were doing a fine job without him. I already told you the video is a bunch of ponytail hair fondling and women showing their breasts. I was bored by the video but like the song. I just fast forward past T.I.’s part the same way I do when he raps on Drake and Swizz Beatz’s song “Fancy.” He is forever adding negativity into a song. Drives me nuts considering his reality show “Family Hustle” is so positive and the man is married. Why are you a married father still rapping about bitches? Makes not a shred of sense. Anyway, why do you feel old? Because you didn’t know the song? Robin Thicke is ALWAYS finding rappers on his songs. Much as I don’t like Lil’ Wayne, those two work so well together on songs like “Cocaine,” “Shooter” and “Pretty Little Heart.” I love Pharrell when he collabos with Jay-Z. T.I.? I’m just getting tired of him…period.

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