After Jess receives a text from the man that “de-flowered” her, the gang launches into a conversation about each of their first times and begins competing to find out who had the worst experience. In my opinion, from best to worst, it goes:
Cece’s story wasn’t embarrassing at all since she lost her virginity to Mick Jagger on Prom night. As she later admits, “I just like telling the story.” And I liked hearing the story, even though it didn’t fit in with the rest of the gangs’. It did, however, serves as an interesting comparison to present-day CeCe who is marrying a guy she hasn’t even slept with in two days.
Nick lost his virginity in the woods and even though the girl “kept her bra on the whole time,” nothing else about the story seems that bad… or at least not as bad as the rest of the gangs’.
Here is where we get into the cringe-worthy stories. In the flashback, Nick’s father brings two prostitutes to pre-pubescent Nick and Winston’s room and the two boys start trying to flirt with Ms. Mysteria and Ms. Octopussy. Although the scene provides for a lot of laughs it also disturbing because, yah know, it’s a grown man getting hookers for his son and his best friend. Winston gets it on with Mysteria but Nick feels uncomfortable and ends up getting drunk for the first time and having a heartfelt conversation with his dad. The best part of this flashback has got to be awkward teenage Nick and his timid voice/outrageous hairstyle. The flashback also sparks a comical discussion in the present where Winston swears Mysteria was not a hooker.
Jess swears her story is the worst, and she is almost right. The lead up is horrible but her actual first time? Not bad at all. We’re led to believe that Jess’ first time was on Prom night with her very sensitive and cautious date, and then we figure it might be with the good-looking guitar playing boy she talks to in the hall when she escapes her date, but it turns out she didn’t even lose her virginity on Prom night. Later in the episode, we discover her first time was actually four years later and was supposed to be with that guitar playing boy (who turns out to be troubled and awkward), but it actually ends up being with a sexy firefighter who saves her from a night of odd escapades with the guitar-playing boy, involving a plastic castle, murder and guitar boy announcing that he might be gay. Her first time is really not bad, but because of the horrendous lead up, I think it is worse than Winston’s.
Yay Fat Schmidt is back! Schmidt’s story is by far the worst. I mean, c’mon, it involves lube (oh, so much lube) and Nick hopped up on shrooms and awkwardly there. Fat Schmidt can be very hit or miss, but I couldn’t hold back the laughter when Schmidt “blinded” Elizabeth with lube.
After all of the stories have been told, Nick and Jess are alone and Jess asks Nick whether or not she should meet up with the firefighter who took her virginity. He doesn’t say anything, so she leaves, but right as the elevator doors are about to close, Nick picks her up in his arms (the same way the firefighter did years ago) and the two have sex. FINALLY. I love the way the writers have handled Nick and Jess’ relationship. They have an adorable back and forth and a Ross and Rachel-esque sexual tension that keeps me locked in on their every move. I cannot wait until next week when we discover the ramifications of this decision they have made.
The episode is fantastic overall. I’m glad to see how far New Girl has come along. It’s no longer the “Zooey Deschanel is quirky and there are some guys there too” show… it has actually become one of television’s best comedies. The jokes resonate much more, the characters are engaging and the writing is brilliant.