Whoever wrote this week’s Game of Thrones definitely had sex on the brain—really, really uncomfortable sexual situations, borderline rape, and unnecessary groping—but at least there wasn’t anything quite as awful as the whole Theon torture that they’ve been monopolizing on, so there’s something.
I liked this episode just fine because it focused on almost all of the storylines that I am invested in: Sansa and Tyrion, any and all things Khaleesi, and anyone who isn’t Robb, Jon, or Theon (I really wish I’d had another fix of Brienne and Jaime, though. Oh well).
So let’s break down the fight for the sword-clad throne in We Love TV More’s Weekly power rankings! These rankings are based solely on my enjoyment and understanding of the events that transpired in “Second Sons”, not any given character’s viability for the throne or the original material in the book series.
1. Tyrion Lannister and Sansa Stark (is she now Sansa Lannister?)
There aren’t any good situations for poor Sansa Stark, the 14-year-old who was just wed to a man who is at least twice her age. She was going to be wed to either a miserable and sadistic young king, a handsome young man who takes no interest in women, a man who is madly in love with her own mother, or a drunk who is short in stature yet has a heart of gold. None of those situations are ideal because, duh, forced marriage! But at least I feel like she’s a little bit more safe and my anxiety for her character can be appeased. Although Joffrey’s threat to rape her made me feel skeezy because I’ve been worrying that his character will move onto that atrocity.
2. Samwell Tully and Gilly
Sam and Gilly have really great chemistry. I always appreciate conversations between those characters that are from Westeros and any variation of wildling. The dialogue is great simply because it’s so redundant, yet you always believe that these explanations need to be made.
Also, Sam killed what looked like a wight with a tiny dagger. ‘Nuf said.
3. Daenerys Targaryen
Trust me, I don’t know how she ended up at number three, either. What I do know is that male characters that treat women the way that man with the scar (whose name is unnecessary because he dead) was treating my Khaleesi deserve to die a million fiery deaths.
She’s got that handsome, longhaired fellow on her team now, so I guess that’s enough for me. Meh, she didn’t do that much for me in this episode, which is saying a lot because she’s the whole reason I even come to the show*.
4. Arya Stark and The Hound
I don’t know! This is the best situation that Arya could be in right now. The Hound just wants to make money by getting her home safely. I don’t see any problem in that. And hey, at least he’s being honest with her.
5. Melissandre, Stanis Baratheon, and Gendry
YAY! More torture! (Sarcasm.)
I really like Gendry and I’ve always hated Melissandre and Stanis, so this just solidifies that hatred and fills me with worry. For the record, Carice van Houten (Melissandre) may have the worst screen presence of anyone on Game of Thrones. Her character doesn’t do anything for me because that woman simply can’t carry a scene. I don’t know if there are enough words to describe how much I despise what she calls “acting”.
I hope that you appreciated my power rankings, and as always I welcome your feedback in the comments section!
Until next week!
* – Well, now I come for some Brienne and Jaime as well.